Hey,Where's the Hard Drive?

After using a desktop computer for five years, I bought my first laptop four years ago.

However, I still have the desktop. It’s been sitting on a desk (where else?), ignored and unplugged, for three and a half years. I think I should get rid of the darn thing, especially since I intend to buy another desktop in the near future.

Four years ago, I also I bought an external Zip drive and saved a lot of information from the desktop to Zip disks. I probably don’t need to transfer any more files; I’ve done without the information for the better part of four years. So, I will destroy the hard drive.

Just as soon as I figure out which thingie it is.

South Dakota is Where?

While thumbing through a style book for writers recently, I learned that Popsicle is a trademarked word. The generic term is ice on a stick. As a child, I would have defined it as ice that falls off a stick.

I also learned the meaning of the words starboard and port, which I knew were nautical terms, but could never figure out which was which. Good thing to know if I’m ever facing forward on a ship. Starboard is right, port is left. At least I think that’s right.

Unfortunately, I found quite a few typos in this edition. And, looking at a time-zone map of the United States, I discovered that South Dakota apparently is north of North Dakota.

Where have all the proofreaders gone? Probably to the unemployment office.

I'm Back and Maybe I'll Stay

I really, really intend to update my blog at least once a month during 2008. Hmm…that’s what I said last year. It didn’t turn out that way, did it?

I stopped posting last July because I got busy at work and with other distractions. I’m still busy at work, but I don’t have quite as many distractions. This year I’m determined to make the time to do better blog wise.

I think I’ll start by cutting back on the time I lurk on the Etiquette Hell website. For some reason, the posts there don’t seem that interesting lately.

See you next month, I hope.

Geography Lesson: Part II

Overheard recently in a fast-food restaurant:

Ms. A: We got a toy order today from GB. What’s GB?

Mr. B: Great Britain.

Ms. A: But isn’t that the same as the UK?

Mr. B: Yeah, I think so.

Um…no. The United Kingdom comprises England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Great Britain is composed of England, Scotland, and Wales. Northern Ireland is not part of Great Britain.

Got that?

Oh, You Already Get a Newspaper

Yes, Ms. Telephone Solicitor, we do. We are, after all, semi-intelligent and want to know what is going on in the state, country, and the world. But most of all, we want to read about all the nonsense that goes on in this city, if only to be forewarned and to know which areas to avoid.

Sometimes the stories are scary. Sometimes they’re entertaining. Sometimes we wonder why the newspaper even bothered to print them.

Smart-Mart Surprise

In the not-too-distant past, a customer walked into a Smart-Mart in southeastern Arizona. The man was looking for lava rocks (whatever they are). The newspaper article didn’t say whether he found the lava rocks. Getting bit by a rattlesnake probably made him forget about shopping.

Odd place for a snake, you think. Not really. Man and snake were in the garden center.

And not too many years ago, the area where the shopping center is now located was nothing but desert. Apparently, some of the wildlife didn’t get the notice to vacate.

Geography Lesson

According to an article in USA Today, a great many teenagers haven’t a clue about religions, their own and others.

The article claimed that 50 percent of the high school seniors interviewed thought that Sodom and Gomorrah were married. Um…no, Sodom and Gomorrah weren’t married; they weren’t even people. They were towns.

Okay, so some people know very little about biblical geography. Is that a big deal? Maybe not, but some people also seem to know very little about geography in general.

Years ago another publication polled high school students and discovered that many of them thought Delaware was a foreign country. And in case no one’s noticed, New Mexico has a license plate that reads: New Mexico USA.

I confess that I, too, was once geographically impaired. Until I was about ten years old, I thought Puerto Rico was an island off the coast of New York City.

Yikes!

This is just another example of someone not proofreading his or her work.

We recently received our latest rental agreement. As of April 1, we’re on a month to month basis—again.

By some miracle, the first rental agreement we received from the new owners did not raise the rent. The second one, a few months later, was for a five-month lease that raised the rent by sixty dollars a month. It seemed like a big increase; however, during the past six or seven years, our rent had been raised by only five dollars a month each year. Not a bad deal for a decent place to live in a city of this size.

The latest agreement raised the rent by another fifty dollars.

Well, at least that was the intention. The agreement didn't read quite like that. Instead of typing in the right amount, some distracted office clerk typed in the rate as $6275.00 a month.

Eavesdropping at IHOP

Three women and a man, all in their early twenties, sat in the booth behind us. They were wearing dark blue scrubs. From their conversation, we concluded that they were, or had recently been, students in a healthcare class.

One woman said, “I cheated on the test.”

Another said, “I cheated too.”

The third said, “I cheated on the test, but I didn’t cheat on the final.”

The man said, “I cheated.”

I don’t know what type of class it was, but I do feel sorry for the patients when these individuals attempt to put their knowledge—or lack of it—into practice.

I Was a Twelve-Year-Old Plagiarist

According to articles I’ve been reading in newspapers and online, some people have no compunction about passing off other writers’ words as their own.

I haven’t plagiarized anyone else’s words since seventh grade. That’s when I copied an article from the World Book Encyclopedia. The students in my science class were assigned reports on types of trees. I don’t remember if we could choose the tree we were expected to research or if the teacher chose them. Either way, I just couldn’t get excited about oak trees. As I recall, most of my classmates felt the same way about the assignment and also copied their reports from encyclopedias. Yes, I know that “everybody does it” is no excuse. But my 200 plagiarized words about oak trees did not get a six-figure contract from a major publishing house.

The teacher must have suspected that we were copying our reports from encyclopedias, but he never mentioned it or told us that we should be writing the reports in our own words.

Since then, however, everything I’ve written has been in my own words. My work is strictly mine. So, if you don’t like what I’ve written, you can’t blame anyone else.

A Belated Happy New Year

Best wishes for the new year to my family, stepfamily, friends, coworkers, and former coworkers in Arizona, Colorado, Nebraska, Massachusetts, Vermont, California, Washington State, and any other place you currently call home.

L, A, and R (PNW), I have NOT forgotten you. I miss you.

K, take care of yourself, and me know how you are doing.

M, aka “Jeremy,” remember the street I called “Thunder Road?” Part of it is a Wal-Mart shopping center now. I hope life has been good to you and your family.

It’s Almost Over

The year, that is.

NanoWriMo ended almost a month ago. I wrote over 50,000 words in 29 days, and I didn’t have to get up half an hour early every weekday morning to do it. Last year, I was taking work home and had to edit that first, so writing those 50,000 words was more stressful than it was this year. Last year, in order to reach my goal, I got up at 4 a.m., instead of at 4:30 a.m.
And, I am happy to report, this year I finished the project without destroying my computer.

Will I do NanoWriMo in 2007? I’m thinking: No. But that’s what I thought this year— right up until the middle of October.

It’s Me Again—Finally

I am writing, but I’m not posting much of anything these days.

I'm busy planning and preparing for National Novel Writing Month. I'm planning my entry and preparing an outline. I hope I can write 50,000 words again this year. And I hope my computer doesn’t try to electrocute me this time.

As you might guess, I will not be around much, if at all, during November.

Happy Halloween, Election Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving. See you in December.

Maybe.

My Computer Is at It Again, but I’m Not

My computer is being a pest again. I’m getting pop-up messages about the proximity of wireless networks and the updates available for my computer, along with more warnings about those nasty unused icons that are littering my desktop.

Several weeks ago, a pop-up message informed me that electrical storms had been detected in the area. The computer suggested that I shut down the system. Having been zapped by my last computer, I took its advice. We are in the middle of the monsoon season here. I have detected dozens of electrical storms in the area since then, but I haven’t had that message pop up again.

(Oops, I missed posting something semi-interesting for July. I confess that I’ve neglected my blog, but I’ve been very busy for the past six weeks. Now that I’m not going to be so busy for a while, maybe I’ll do better next month. Then again....)

Yes, I'm Still Here

Busy at work and busy at home. Took a day off and toured a cat house last Friday. Will write more later.

Blog Blahs and the Bizarre

I’ve decided to launch an advertising campaign to promote my blog. After all, what good is a blog if no one ever visits it?

As a first step in this project, I analyzed my posts. After critiquing them, I’ve concluded that WestWord Arizona has a chronic case of the blahs. This blog needs more relevant and more interesting stuff…er, content. It needs content with universal appeal.

I’m fairly certain that no one out there in cyberspace cares about the score I received on an exam in PowerPoint, Excel, or any other subject. A relative thought that the entry recollecting my dream about doing taxes for a serial killer was a little wild. And how many non-writers understand what a storyboard is?

An acquaintance remarked that the post about my purple finger was a bit bizarre. I agree—now. But, hey, the darn thing hurt like heck at the time. For those of you who haven’t read the entry, that disaster happened one morning on the way to work. I was paying too much attention to what was happening at a house across the street and not enough attention to where I was walking. I tripped over an uneven spot on the sidewalk and ended up on the ground.

I considered deleting the “purple” post, but I decided not to. Every time I read it, it will remind me to mind my own business (at least on the way to work).

My Icons are None of Your Business!

That’s what I felt like screaming at my computer last week.

When I turned on the darn thing one morning, a message popped up informing me that I had unused icons on my desktop. Hey, what am I supposed to do about it? It’s 5:30 a.m. I can barely deal with making coffee this early, let alone deal with unused whatsits.

Compared to the desktops of some people I know (and you know who you are), my desktop décor is a bit on the sparse side.

Anyway, I’m not responsible for the icons on my desktop. Dell is. The icons came with the computer. Among others, I have icons urging me to take advantage of a free six- month subscription to AOL, a trial version of QuickBooks Simple Edition, and a trial version of Word Perfect. I have no intention of using these trial versions because I know that I will not be buying the Internet service or the software at the end of the trial runs. Thank you, but I’m happy with NetZero and Word. As for a fancy accounting program, I don’t need one—yet.

Maybe I should delete the unused icons. Then the computer wouldn’t have to nag me about them. And maybe, while I’m at it, I should also uninstall the actual trial versions of this stuff.

On Hiatus This Weekend

I’m really trying my best to post something semi-interesting every other weekend. However, as April 15—make that April 17 this year—will soon be here, I’m doing the annual tax return thing this weekend. I don’t outsource them because, a couple of years ago, I paid H&R Block good money to teach me how to do them.

Unfortunately, I’m still doing them the old-fashioned way and mailing them. Maybe I’ll e-file next year.

Where Did All the Proofreaders Go?

As an editor, I correct errors and typos in business documents that have been created by other people, so I think my own work should be perfect. I confess that sometimes it isn’t.

But I’m not alone.

Typos and errors in grammer, punctuation, and syntax are common in almost everything in print today. Don’t publishing houses and newspapers hire proofreaders or copy editors anymore?

I guess not.

Several years ago, I bought the first book published by an author who is currently writing two mystery series. In the first half of the book, the name of one of the main characters was Harvey. Then, in the middle of the book, he was referred to as Harry. A few pages later, he was Harvey again for the rest of the novel.

Jeremy

Every year around St. Patrick’s Day, I think about a fellow I knew when I was a junior in high school. He had an Irish last name, a modified Elvis haircut, and a whole lot of freckles. We dated for about four months one summer when he was on the outs with the girl he had gone steady with since he was about thirteen.

“Jeremy” liked cars. He mostly liked to see how fast they could go. He also liked to see how fast he they could stop. (Hey, former neighbors, now you know how all those tire marks got on the road in front of your houses.)

During one of the several times that he was stopped for speeding, he told the policeman that he was “just burning out the carbon.” That excuse failed to impress the policeman, and Jeremy ended up in court the next day.

The judge he appeared before had a reputation for being unsympathetic to teenage boys with a hot foot on the gas pedal. When Jeremy’s case was called, the judge told him: “Son, there are three rates of speed in this town: slow, medium, and ‘Good morning, Judge.’”